My previous post was the beginning of a series I’m writing on marriage. After chatting recently with my husband, I realized that I should address the first bit, marrying well.
There is a point in many young girls’ lives when they really, desperately want to get married. This emotion is stronger than you can imagine if you’ve never experienced it.
I recently chatted with a friend, now happily married for 40+ years, who recalled how it felt to be 21 and unmarried. She had expected to be married by then. I can’t tell you how many women have expressed to me over the years their frustration with not being married by the time they had “thought” they would be married.
I know that God has a plan for each of these women. I believe God knows if and when you will marry your Prince Charming. But, as with many other areas of our lives, this waiting period can cause us to doubt and try to expedite matters.
This desire to be married can drive a young woman to get married to someone they, under other circumstances, would never consider. I’ve seen young girls talk about marrying a certain guy. And while I listen I just know he’s not the one. He might be amazing. But he doesn’t make her sparkle. (Credit here to my husband who pointed out the sparkle he sees in girls, and guys, who are truly suited for one another.)
Ladies, my daughter isn’t marrying age. I’m not giving mom advice here. And I have NO qualifications to give ANY advice. I’m NOT an expert on dating. But I do know love. Deep, soul filling love. Love that pours out your eyes and your very being.
So, girls, I am not telling you what your momma would. That is her job. Mommas, I hope you can forgive what I’m about to say here.
Marry a man who makes you sparkle. Don’t marry for money. Don’t marry for prestige. Don’t even marry because he’s a great guy who is a super catch, a good church boy, the guy your mom always called “a good boy” or a guy who you respect, admire and care deeply about — if he doesn’t make you sparkle.
NOTE: DO NOT MARRY A CREEP REGARDLESS OF WHETHER YOU THINK HE MAKES YOU SPARKLE. CREEPS ARE CREEPS. RUN. HIDE.
Marry a good man. Marry a man you are proud of. Marry a man that you see great things in. Marry a man that, if he never changed an ounce, you would still be proud to
introduce to your mom, dad, best friend and me. Marry that kind of man. But only marry him if he makes you sparkle.
Unsure if you sparkle? Ask your bestie. But you probably don’t. Again, I’m not an expert, but I really believe, when you sparkle you feel it and the whole world sees it. And marry a guy who is simply mad about you.
As a caveat, I believe our God is a great redeemer and any marriage CAN be redeemed, even if you make poor choices. If both parties turn their will toward God, anything is possible. If you are married and feel you made a poor choice, turn it over to God. I know He wants to prosper your marriage, He can turn anything to good. But if you are not yet married, marry well.