So I got my feelings hurt. Again. It seems that it gets easier and easier to get hurt feelings. And I’m not alone.
How do I know? Well, for starters, I wrote this post a while back and the feedback I got really helped me to see how many of us walk around with hurt dripping from us, as if we were caught in a sudden rain. And each time we begin to dry and heal and recover from that rain, another wave of the storm blows in and we begin to drip from the hurt the pours over us. Again. And again. And Again.
So I started a conversation on Facebook, asking others about how they get hurt. And it is always interesting to me to see the insecurities, the fear, the hurt and the isolation of others. And it angers me.
When will I stop taking the bait? When will I stop letting satan steal my joy and lie to me? When will I stop being hurt and isolated? Because I am certain, dead certain, that the people who hurt me don’t even know. They don’t even realize that my feelings got hurt. It wasn’t intentional. They didn’t wake up one day and say, “Hey, we could really hurt her feelings if we did this! Let’s go!”
The truth is, most of the time when I’ve been offended or gotten my feelings hurt, the other party never intended it to be viewed as a slight.
Knowing I wanted to address this, I asked my Facebook friends which is worse:
Being thought poorly of
Not being thought of
There was no consensus. But what I was able to see was how satan once again uses our insecurities to trip us. The people who commented on the question had differing answers and reasons why. Some seriously cannot stand to be thought poorly of (I mean none of us like it, right?) and others feel like at least that can be dealt with and talked through but being not thought of at all is impossible to change. Several admitted it was based oh their own insecurities.
One of my big insecurities is that I am invisible. I’m a pretty unremarkable person. I tend to think I’m forgettable, and it tends to be proven to be true. I’m also an introvert who doesn’t really like much attention. At the same time, I have a terrible weakness (I know, supposedly it isn’t a weakness, just a personality trait) in needing to be affirmed. Apparently Words of Affirmation are a big part of my love languages. So the quickest and easiest way satan has found to upset me is to make me feel unseen, unnoticed and unappreciated.
So, to all of you, my friends who are reading this, I want to encourage you.
We are all walking around, one rain cloud of offense from dripping our hurt feelings all over the place. And I don’t really know how to help my friends not get hurt. But I hope to encourage you that you are not alone. That person that hurt you is probably also hurting. They might not even realize that you are hurt. That anger and frustration you feel are probably focused at the wrong enemy. Because I have come to recognize, even in the midst of the hurt, that it truly is just an epic battle to steal our joy!
Someday I will stop taking the bait.
And if you find that you cannot seem to shake the clouds above you that threaten to pour out more hurt, just remember, the only thing that scatters these clouds is the Son.