Mother’s Day is coming up. And I’m thinking a bit about it. Not much, actually. I’m just in it, you know? In the trenches. I love this little life of mine, but it is pretty much all consuming.
But the media reminds us about Mother’s Day so I start thinking about it. Thinking about the best gift I’ve given myself. A few years ago I found myself emotionally bracing for another Mother’s Day. Oh what a fun day! My little preschoolers at church would get to make a craft. I’d teach of course, to give that momma a much needed break – a thank you for serving and an appreciation that this day is about them! Then after church we would dash up to my momma’s house, grabbing a quick fast food lunch on the way because by the time I can leave church at 1, drive through and get to my mom’s it is 2:30. We’d visit with my mom for a while. Then we’d head from there the 30-45 minutes, depending on traffic, to my husband’s mom’s for a short visit, then scamper the hour-ish drive back home to fall, exhausted, into bed, after sending all the various children of to bed of course.
I was in fact dreading Mother’s Day. Why? Because it really wasn’t about me. I’m a full time mom. I live this gig, of my own choosing, where my life is surrounded by that of these little, and not so little, people depending on me for their very existence. My husband is great. He appreciates all I do, frequently telling me so or stopping to pick me wild flowers that he thinks I’d like. He gladly buys me anything I want, happily gives me gifts, candy and flowers. But Mother’s Day has never been about me and has always been about visiting our moms. And that is very important.
But suddenly, as I faced great apprehension over the exhaustion that Mother’s Day would entail for me, I took a moment to be totally selfish. I decided, and my husband heartily approved, that I would visit our mothers on another day. Since then I have tried, some time the week before Mother’s Day to visit my mom, with just my kids. It is very hectic if my siblings and all the grandchildren try to get together. This way my mom and I can talk without the distraction of so many others. She can see my kids. They can chat with her. We then visit my husband’s mother on a different day. And Mother’s Day I can spend just enjoying the kids and husband that gave me the title I enjoy so heartily at this stage of my life: Mom.