Yesterday I wrote a rambling/ranting little (long) post about the choices I’ve made that have resulted in my husband and I changing our paths and our dreams. This is sort of a Part 2, my husband’s sacrifices.
I met this amazing guy when he was 15. Yes. 15. During the course of our dating years I was invited to go visit, along with his parents and brother, his mother’s family on their farm in the central-northern part of the state. It was here that I first realized that this “city boy” was really a “farm boy” at heart. He came alive in a way I had never seen riding around the fields on various farm vehicles. And I fell even more in love.
As we went through college and planned our future, we considered two big options. First we considered moving to the very northern part of the state where I was practically guaranteed a job teaching due to my Spanish minor. Second we considered moving nearer to his farming family, where he had spent his younger years and where he could possibly work part time in farming with his family and pursue his other passions.
Then something major happened that changed everything. My daddy had a heart attack. At the time we were in school an hour and a half away and cell phones were just beginning to be used. For an hour and a half we drove to see my dad, with no idea whether he was even still alive, let alone how he was doing. It was on that drive that I looked at my new husband and said I couldn’t move that far away from my family. My husband simply agreed and never looked back.
I graduated from college a year before my husband was scheduled to (I’m the older woman). I wanted to move back home and get a job. He willingly transferred schools so that we could move and begin to pursue my dream of becoming a teacher in my hometown. He hated his new school. He didn’t do well and eventually changed schools again, seeking a degree that was yet to exist in computer technology. He eventually found a degree in the field he’d chosen and began taking classes while working full time.
He was working construction. Happily. But realized he needed to find a field where he could make more money to better help support his soon to be growing family and began a long path toward where he is now in Information Technology. A friend got him a job and he worked himself crazy as he worked his way up the ladder to where we thought he wanted to be.
Then we had a baby! It was a joyful and stressful time. I had to begin taking classes to renew my teaching license, he was in school. We both worked full time and had a new, premature baby. I asked him to take time off school so that I could go back to begin my master’s degree in education. He willingly agreed. And never went back. Again, he sacrificed for me.
Over the years he mentioned that he would like it if I would stay home with our kids, the few years his mom had been home with him had been very impactful on him. He also mentioned how hard school had been on him and that perhaps his “mini-me” son would benefit from being homeschooled. But when I said no, standing firm to my dreams, he quietly let it go. But boy was he excited when I decided he was right, both times.
Over the years, God has been truly good to us. Within a couple of years of me (the major bread winner) quitting my job, my husband was making more than we had been making together. It is amazing what a little step of faith will do for you.
But the last few years have been tough on my husband. He has lost any enjoyment is working with computers. His inner farm boy desperately desires to come out. He drives nearly an hour and a half each way every day to a soul sucking job he hates so that I can continue to stay home and do what my heart desires. He would change careers in a heart beat if he could find a job in his pay range. But having invested 15 years in IT work, he’s finding it hard to find a way go back and pursue a career more suited to a “farm boy”. So for now he is stuck in a soul sucking job in a cubicle farm instead of enjoying the life God created him for, working outside, working with his hands, creating something.
That is why my husband is my hero. He has sacrificed more for me than I ever have for him. All my “sacrifices” have been toward my goals. So have his.